I can’t escape your smell; release
my fingers, my eyes, my beards,
my masks, my clothes & my car
I’ve tried everything;
– cigarettes on my finger
– Titian exhibits for my eyes
– bleach in my beard
– blood on my shirts & mud on my jeans
– broken speed limits & migrant valets
in the office, they’re
making eyes at me
wondering when I’ll snap;
some are turning those noses
when I move – you come
curling out of my skin – the smell
of you – perfumed sweaty
smoke moving from all the
cigarettes you stole; never sure
if you smoke for the love of smoking
– a break from the pressures of smiles
& the heat of social sex –
or just some excuse
to stand with me, whatever the weather,
& dream in our holy,
I think something’s coming to a head now. I can feel it in my throat & I read it in the papers. We’re rushing towards an end, like a nightmare scenario played out by sickly scientists who never tasted anyone as teenagers.
I don’t know if it’s a personal end, or some cataclysmic thing when the stars explode & the earth shatters & all the bare bones of man & of women are revealed to be the same bones as pigs & dogs & only the birds escape & fly off into the endlessness with nothing more than dreams & the last air in their lungs.
I think the streets are full of lies & I’m drowning in them. Ex-coworkers with ugly beards are pretending to be happy. Robotic rapists prowl the bars in tight shirts and ties. Beautiful women are undercutting themselves. Desperate women think it’s Halloween every night. The true, fantastic, terrifying, mad, explosive crescendos are flirting with lifestyles they aren’t ready for & breaking dark hearts with their spontaneous lights.
& experience makes virgins of us all.